February 2011
3 posts
November 2010
1 post
“If Ed wants me to jump I’ll say how high, then throw yo ass in the air”
– Granddad Freeman
December 2009
2 posts
Exorcism
Huey Freeman: This isn't an exorcism - it's a beating.
Uncle Ruckus: Sometimes there is very little difference.
November 2009
10 posts
“Ah-hah! Get off me! You’ve got a date Robert? Did you tell her you have...”
– Tom/Stinkmeaner
Congratulations for reading.
Thugnificent: Hey man, is this your brother?
Huey: Hello...goodbye
Thugnificent: Yo nigga, your brother told us how you be all into reading and shit. Hey that’s some real good shit my nigga, for real. Congratulations nigga.
Huey: Did you just congratulate me for reading?
Flonominal: Word, oh yeah, man, you know? Good shit, homie, word, yaknamean? Ya know that reading shit, yaknamean, it's hard, son! Word, yaknamean? Word, yaknamean, especially when them books be, yakneamn? You know, real thick and heavy like, yaknamean? Word, yaknamean?
“Vision? What do you know about my vision? My vision would turn your world upside...”
– Huey Freeman (via tommyoliver)
"He was so gangsta that I used to have dreams that...
(via desmondkills)
“You heard me, nigga, niggas can’t fight. They don’t possess the...”
– Uncle Ruckus
The absence of evidence
Ed Wuncler III: Look! He got a weapon!
Gin Rummy: Whoa, wait a minute now. Put the gun down.
Store Owner: Gun? What gun? I'm not holding gun. Guys, it's me. Ed, your father helped me build this store.
Gin Rummy: I don't know you, motherfucker! Now, put down the weapon! Put it down!
Store Owner: There is no weapon! Look!
Gin Rummy: Drop the weapon!
Officer Frank: I... I don't see a weapon!
Huey Freeman: There is no weapon! They're robbin' the store!
Store Owner: I am not holding a weapon! I am not holding a weapon!
Gin Rummy: Officer, this motherfucker's got a gun pointed at you! Do you wanna die?
Officer Frank: What?
Gin Rummy: Do you want to die?
Officer Frank: I... I don't want to die!
Huey Freeman: He does not have a gun!
Gin Rummy: He does have a gun, officer, trust me! The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence!
Officer Frank: I don't see a gun!
Ed Wuncler III: Man, fuck this shit! Who's side are you on? Mine, or this motherfucker who's obviously of terrorist descent?
Officer Frank: Wait... I think I can see the gun now.
Child Labor
Ed Wuncler: I admire entrepreneurship in young people.
Huey Freeman: You mean like them 12-year-old girls that work in your sweatshops in Indonesia?
Ed Wuncler: That's right, every morning I wake up and put one foot on the ground and the other up the ass of a 12 year-old Indonesian girl.
“Game recognize game and you lookin’ kinda unfamiliar right now..”
– Riley Freeman, Boondoocks (via staceysterling) (via free-hugs-free-kisses) (via bonita-applebum)
October 2009
13 posts
Ushers don't sing...
Riley Freeman: [laughs at Tom] Usher? That dick is *my* age!
Tom Dubois: So, you guys don't think I'm overreacting?
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: I don't think so. You a big-time lawyer, and Sarah's acting all crazy over an usher?
Huey Freeman: Not *an* usher. Usher, he's a singer.
Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: Usher's ain't supposed to sing. You can't hear the movie!
The Boondocks Intro
Asheru
“Now don’t get me wrong, A Pimp named Slickback will put a lot of things over a...”
– a Pimp named Slickback (via simonefiasco)
It's not wise to upset a Wuncler...
Ed Wuncler III: [Throws down a game controller] This is some bullshit! The game cheatin'!
Riley: Nigga, the game ain't cheatin'.
Ed Wuncler III: Start the game over!
Riley: Why you always gotta cheat when you lose Ed?
Gin Rummy: Let'em have it. Not wise to upset a Wuncler.
Ed Wuncler III: [Pulls out gun and shoots the Playstation 2, then points the gun at Riley] Restart the game, now!
Weapons of Mass Destruction
Riley: So y'all was in Iraq together?
Gin Rummy: Yeah, we was in Iraq.
Riley: What did you do?
Gin Rummy: We was lookin' for weapons of mass destruction.
Riley: Did you ever find 'em?
Gin Rummy: You know goddamn well we ain't find them! What are you? Some kind of political humorist? You Garry Trudeau up in this bitch?
Ed can't swim.
[Ed III is floundering in the middle of his swimming pool]
Ed Wuncler III: Hey! Why you leave me out here? One of you muthafuckas better come out here and get me, I know that! Or you *will* be living in a haunted house tonight!
Gin Rummy: Swim, bitch!
September 2009
79 posts
If I were to piss on you right now would you: A,...
“What the hell is wrong with you people? Every famous nigga that gets arrested is...”
– Huey Freeman
I know grown ass people who wouldn't move...
Tom Dubois: Now, young lady, I know this can be hard to talk about.
The Underaged Girl: Naw, it's cool.
Tom Dubois: How old were you when you were "seeing" Mr. Kelly.
The Underaged Girl: Um, 14 and a quarter.
Tom Dubois: Wow, thats a great age, isn't it? Still learning so much about the world.
The Underaged Girl: Whatever, I guess.
Tom Dubois: Can you describe the events leading up to the shooting of the video?
The Underaged Girl: Yeah, he asked if he could pee on me, and I said fo sho. I mean, it's R Kelly, the pied piper of R&B. I've been peed on by guys who don't even have record deals. Shit, if I didn't wanna get peed on, I would have moved out the way!
“Every time a Black baby is born, I give em a plasma TV and one channel: BET!...”
– Uncle Ruckus
“WHOA! This must be what crack feel like.”
– Riley (via stonervision)
“Soul Food is a movie about a big, humongous, black grandmother, aptly named Big...”
– Huey Freeman. (via solaravada)
One night only!
Tom Dubois: Earliest I could get out would be on Monday.
Huey Freeman: Well, it's just the weekend.
Tom Dubois: It only takes one night to get anally raped! Huey, the only way for me to get out of here is if you find to the real killer tonight.
Huey Freeman: The real killer? Nigga, I'm 10! How am I gonna find the real killer?
Tom Dubois: Please! You've gotta try!
Huey Freeman: All right, all right, all right. Damn.
Tom Dubois: [sobbing] Thank you, Huey. Whatever you do, don't tell my baby Jazmine! I don't know want her to know her daddy was somebody's biiiiiiiiiitch!
Jazmine Dubois: Was that Daddy? Where is he? Is he OK? Was he kidnapped by terrorists?
Huey Freeman: Um, your father wants you to know he's nobody's bitch.
[Jazmine sobs hysterically]
“I was looking for bitches, but they had they carpet shit all over them and I...”
– Ed Wuncler III (via shotgunnoblitz)
Holding > Butt-pounding Jail
Tom Dubois: Huey, I got arrested! They say I fit the description. I think it's 'cause I'm black, Huey. You have to get me outta here, Huey! You don't wanna know what they'll do to me in jail!
Huey Freeman: They'll rape you, that's what they're gonna do. But you're not in jail. You're in holding and I don't think people usually get raped in holding. Hold on.
Huey Freeman: Granddad! Do people get raped in holding?